As I sat looking out the window, I noticed a group of schoolchildren walking in twos, heading for the park. It was a warm sunny day in May and the children’s giggles and chatter put a smile on my face. Each child carried a lunch bag filled with little treasures that some caring person had placed there earlier that morning.
My reverie was suddenly shattered when one little boy’s lunch bag burst open, spilling all his treasures on the ground. As I watched his anguished gaze fixated on the ruined contents of his bag, I had to turn away. Somewhere deep within me, it hurt too much, and the tears started rolling down my cheeks. I was surprised at the well of emotion this little incident had released in me. My reaction seemed totally inappropriate to the scene that had occurred.
What was going on within me?
I realized that this was not the first time I had felt this puzzling depth of emotion over some relatively innocuous scene that I had witnessed. This was not the first time that some situation outside myself had touched that place within that I had come to call the Land of Tears. I knew that the deep sadness that I felt had nothing to do with what was happening in my life at the time. In fact, my life was rich with meaningful work and the love of my family and caring friends. No, the sadness was not about my personal story, but something much broader, much more significant than that. Another perplexing part of the puzzle was that not only did sad things touch the Land of Tears, happy things did as well. Just watching a family reunited at the airport left me sobbing.
What was that about?
Through much soul searching, I eventually found the answers to my questions. I came to realize that my tears reflected something I had tried very hard to deny – .
JEFFERS, Susan. End the Struggle and Dance with Life. Great Britain: Hodder and Stoughton 2005. 252 pp. (non-fiction)